Get to Know Me!! | My life in a nutshell

 Hello everyone! My name is Xue Ziling, but you can call me Z for short ☺️ 

*** DISCLAIMER ***

This will get  into my life and events I find as traumatic experiences. I am writing this as a way for you to not only get to know me truly without any filters, cut scenes or “retakes” 

Please do not pity little me in anyway - she was traumatized but her world was all she knew, and she was okay with that. I turned out okay :)

Strap in y'all we got some hot tea.

My parents make up a huge part of who I am, so let’s start from THE BEGINNING 

I was originally Made in China & assembled in the US as I like to say. My parents divorced when I was about one y/o almost two. The divorce went on for 7 years YAY ME 🤣

My mother, an immigrant woman who spoke very like English, ended up having Washington’s “Mom Law” in her favor. She won custody and I lived with her until about 15. 

After that I spent 2 years on a semi truck with my father completing my schooling online. Eventually staying home full time to take care of my grandfather. 

I was raised by my wonderful(but scary) Chinese mom. My primary language is Chinese even though it’s piss poor now-a-days, do to lack of usage. 

As I like to say she is the “CCC”

• Chinese  • Christian  • Communist 

Now, you might be thinking, “Z how could that be possible? Those don’t work together!” That my friend you are correct, but what my mother does is far beyond what you could’ve imagined. She takes what she likes from each “culture/religion” and does whatever she wants. :) We love that for her. 

My father you ask? Oh girl don’t get me started- FUCKER lol I love him (but also he stresses me out) He told me during Thanksgiving he decided he wants to get married for the 6th time O_O bruh if that gives you any idea but- ain’t my place to judge  you do you boohoo. 

My mother and I primarily lived off the government for some housing and food, and my dad’s $500 a month, up until I moved in with him. 

For a time throughout the beginning of the divorce, my mother and I hopped around from Woman’s Home's to friend’s homes, whatever she could do since she had no family or money here in the US. 

We eventually moved into a two bedroom duplex in the “half ghetto” as I like to call it. Not where they made or grew the ‘stuff’ but more so where they could hangout to smoke it. This happened more or less after my mom won. 

I started using Chopstix when I was 2, learning how to speak Chinese then as well. Learning to translate right from the start. When meeting strangers on the bus, I would try and speak Chinese, quickly realizing that they did not understand what I was speaking. I had to learn to communicate not just with my dad and grandparents but with the rest of the “world” too besides the few other Chinese people we’d meet.

Fast forward to Kindergarten. Elementary was rough right off the bat, due to my mother finding Christianity here, it was heavily implemented onto me. So on my first day of kindergarten I told everyone “I love EVERYONE, because Jesus told me to love everyone. So I love all of you.” Keep in mind my neighborhood wasn’t the greatest. They bullied me about it until I left that school, through 6th grade.

My second day wasn’t great either lol, the first day of school was bad enough but mind you I also missed the bus due to my mother thinking the bus showed up in front of your house. She did not know there were bus stops for each neighborhood. So the next day once we had that cleared up, I hopped my little 5 y/o butt onto the school bus and plopped it right at the 2nd to last seat on the bus. Just as I looked out the window and waved goodbye, the bus driver hit the gas and I was covered in year old chocolate milk. 

How you might ask? The 6th grader from across the street saved it just for a special occasion. Guess that ended up being me lol- my mom learned to not buy anything cute/expensive after that day. You know those videos of kids going to their first day of kindergarten and coming back with a whole new set of shit you didn’t know you had? Yeah that was me ha! 

Please do not think this is a complaining 'biography' but really more so a reflection as to how I became who I've become. 

Because of the hard times and bullying, I am self conscious and more aware of my surroundings, something I have realized a lot of people don’t do from a young age. As I like to say, trauma made me who I am. It would either make me or break me. I’m clearly a stubborn motherfucker because I am still here. It made me funny as fuck too 😂

Turning 22 this year, and I couldn’t be more excited. 22 and I am happily with my Husband and dog, ready to start a family at some point. Currently I am enjoying being a stay at home wife, pursuing my TikTok as hopefully some sort of platform where I can be heard. 

15 y/o me is quaking at the fact we even made it to 18 lol

If you made it to the end thank you for joining, if you want to hear more from me please let me know down below 

March 2nd, 2024 - Ziling Xue